Hot Pot Magazine

By Elizabeth Lucia Minh-Thu Strout

When the world was closer to normal a few months ago, it was my parents’
eighteen-year wedding anniversary. I thought they were going to do something
romantic like get flowers or at least eat out at somewhere fancy. Alas, they
didn’t. My mom and dad’s idea of a nice anniversary date was shopping for crabs on sale at Costco.

As we ate the crab meat together for lunch, I asked my mom jokingly, “Is this what you
call romance? If so, I don’t want it.”

“No, you do want this in a relationship,” she said as she shelled out more meat from a
crab leg. “And it is romantic. Happy boring times together.” She said something like
that, anyway.

Now that life is not normal in any sense, I think I understand what she means a bit
more.

Some of the best experiences in life are the most mundane. The morning carpool
laughter, conversations while driving to appointments, running the same trails on the
same creek over and over again. Going to the grocery store, the grandparents’
house, the cousins’ house. Walking the dog. Popping into a favorite cafe to
(pretend to) study. Practice after school. School, period.

When everything was normal, repetitive to the point of being dull, I’d spend all of my
spare brain power wishing that I were somewhere more exciting. Why couldn’t I be in
Paris (which, despite having visited and realized that my notion of Paris was very
different from the reality of the city, I continued to fantasize about)? Or Italy, which felt
like a second home (not the place to be right now, sadly). Or Japan. I’ve never been to
Japan, but my sister and mom used to watch Only in Japan videos every evening in
hopes of going. While I made fun of them at the time, secretly I wanted to go too.
It was fun to think of all the places I could go, if only…

One day, I do hope to go. For better or for worse I haven’t yet lost my wanderlust. But I
think that more than the fact that these places are beautiful, what drove me to spend so much time dreaming of them was the truth that it wasn’t possible for me to visit them at the time. We tend to crave what we can’t have.

I know I’ve spent many hours imagining I was some jet-setter who could say, “I’ll book a flight this weekend to have fun in London! Why not!” and make that a reality at the drop of a hat. I don’t think I’d actually enjoy this but the fact that it’s nowhere close to possible for me right now is why I wanted it.

But now, I’m dreaming more of something far less ambitious than holidays abroad. I’m dreaming of a return to normal life, with all the luxuries I took for granted. The luxuries that don’t require huge savings to make possible – like the comfort of a friend’s presence, less than six feet away. Or casually shopping at Costco with another for crab.

Happy boring times together. I can’t think of anything more glamorous.

My mother was right. A normal life is romantic and something to want after all.

Elizabeth Lucia Minh-Thu Strout (yes, real name) is a literature student from the Bay Area. Finding footing in a mishmash of cultural heritage is at the heart of her creative practice. Her work has been featured in the San Francisco Foghorn and Writing for a Real World.