By Alexi Zuzga
blue, pink, white, pink, blue,
the colors kept in my room
never taken off the wall
nobody saw them
lit solely by a 3rd story window.
nobody saw the flag
was painted up my chest
stroked around my neck
to my back and down and down
nobody saw.
It was painted over my arms
circled my legs
and covered my face
nobody—
he saw
how did i let it slip
she saw
why did i let them see
they saw they saw they saw—
it has to go
blue pink white pink and blue
i can’t let it stay
i’ll make it go
if I don’t
they will
i know it
red and orange and hot and pain
it has to go
i can’t let it stay
white starts first
to pink it goes
until blue has burned
and all turns to black black black.
wrapped around me
it melts
melts into my skin
heat on my arms
pain from burns
and pain from within
I look in the mirror
it’s gone.
I feel my skin.
blue, pink, white, pink, blue.
not painted across,
but within.
hidden.
don’t let them see.
don’t let the colors show.
Alexi is currently a freshman at Ruth Asawa School of the Arts. She is transfem and hopes her writing will help inspire other young queer voices.
Hot Pot Magazine 