By John Ganshaw
I never imagined that moving to Cambodia would entail having a circus at my villa, but
low and behold it did. It didn’t happen overnight and soon this middle-aged man in his 50s
would become friends with circus performers, particularly three talented artists and their family
of twelve. These three young men were and are the most loving, genuine, and caring people
anyone could ever have as a friend or as an extension of their family. Each one had a raucous
laugh that came from the inner depths of their being. I can close my eyes and hear their joyous
roars of laughter ring throughout the countryside, the richness, and love that emulates from their
beautiful selves. Each one is just as handsome as the next, and without a doubt, you can tell they
are all cut from the same cloth. The ear-to-ear grin is contagious, and a flash of their pearly
whites could melt the coldest of hearts. Once it is set upon their lips you magically come under
their spell and soon you will be smiling and laughing yourself. Their muscles rippled throughout
their being, only their compassion and love were stronger than their physical strength. Sothee, is
the oldest and though shorter, he is built like a tank, with arms and thighs as big as my 31” waist,
jet black hair, and a well-manicured beard, Sophe, is 27, and though the shortest of the three he is
the most agile, and Ahm, though the youngest, is taller, again, built like his brothers, but is the
cheekiest of them all, never knowing what he might do. Like the entire family, all three are
nothing shy of pure unadulterated perfection. When traveling with them, each one has a cosmetic
bag that would put most makeup artists to shame.
I first met Sothee by chance. I had seen him perform with the Cambodian Circus and was
amazed at his hand-balancing strength but also by his being a true performer and artist, driving
the audience participation and always wearing that contagious, light-up the crowd, grin. From the
first time we met, we were destined to become friends and soon he would be working at my hotel
as the creator of guest experience and managing social media photography. I shouldn’t say
working because he was more than an employee, he was a partner. His flawless English and
French made him an instant hit with all the guests and his fellow team members. It wasn’t long
thereafter that his brother Ahm and Sophe were part of my newfound family. Through the three
of them, I met many other performers and in a short period, they would all become regular guests
at the villa for impromptu barbecues and camaraderie.
It seems like it was just yesterday that Sophe and Sothee were at the villa one afternoon
with Sophe doing hand balancing and acrobatics on the walkway around the pool. I was
mesmerized and staring at his abilities when he looked at me and said, “Do you want to learn?”
“I am too old to learn” was my reply. Sophe wasn’t having it and said, “You are never too old to
learn, get in the pool and I’ll show you.” I meandered my way into the pool and walked toward
him till I was chest deep. I stood there like a goalpost while he positioned my hands, interlocked
his fingers into mine, and before I knew it he was above my head, hand balancing and
performing splits and other various theatrical tricks. I never thought that at the age of 55 I would
be doing circus acts. Through the three of them, we were soon doing circus acts at the hotel I
owned, in the countryside, at the villa, pretty much anywhere we could, and at the most random
times. I must say, it was a unique experience that not many hotels offer complimentary to their
guests.
The times we would spend at the villa would become the most special. They would
always ask if they could stop by and whenever they did, it would be a time to remember. They
would always bring so much food along with snacks and everything needed to season and cook
the meal. The snacks would always consist of dried squid, fried crickets, and when available,
deep-fried cicadas. As I always say, anything fried is delicious. The villa had its share of mango
and other fruit trees and who needs a ladder when you have circus performers in the midst?
Soon, one would be on the shoulders of another and no fruit was out of reach. What is green
mango without some chili and salt, the sourness and the spice made your face pucker, eyes squint
and shiver just thinking about it, but ohhhhh so delicious. The videos Sothee would make of us
eating this delicacy captured the squinted eyes, and the shivering facial expressions from the sour
bite, and then posted them on social media. Thinking about it brings back the resonating laughter
of those joyous times. This was a common occurrence whenever they would grace the villa that
would be considered their home as well.
Each time we would get together was like a family reunion, whether at the villa, the
hotel, the local bar, or even at their family homestead. That family was my ribcage protecting
my heart from harm. Even now, years later, they are my protectors from those who would bring
me suffering and anguish. When you live abroad you soon discover there are many various evil
characters. Whenever they were near me, I felt like I was guarded by an army of thousands.
I wish I could remember just one special memory, but so many rush to the forefront of
my mind. The climbing off the third-floor terrace into the coconut trees so we could have fresh
juice, the walking the edge of the roof like it was a tightrope to replace a loose tile, the endless
dinners and BBQs that would close with karaoke and drinking games. Staying up all night with
Ahm to see the sunrise in the morning. The truth was that we partied all night, so viewing the
beautiful sunrise was an extension of seeing the moonrise ten hours earlier. For a single older
man, they made me feel what it must be like to have three awesome sons and that is how I
thought of them.
The true sign of a family is when they are there for you during the rough patches. Living
in a foreign land alone there are bound to be some rough times but when you are surrounded by
caring people they can be navigated and dealt with. I was fortunate to have them by my side
when the person I cared for the most was making life difficult for me, and it seemed all I ever
strived for was unraveling before my eyes. Those three men and their families were my shadows
during those gut-wrenching times. August of 2020 would see me turning 57, and close to the
lowest point, I had ever been. Sothee and Sophe along with a couple of other friends ensured
that I would have one of the best birthdays of my life. After a night at the circus where Sothee
was providing another masterful performance, we met at our favorite local watering hole. Like
many nights before we would drink beer, and eat dried and grilled squid, along with a myriad of
drinking games. We were all giddy with happiness when the two of them brought out a birthday
cake made out of fresh local fruit and serenaded me with the best rendition of Happy Birthday I
ever encountered. What a night to remember!
As the months went on and the freefall of life continued, this family was my rock. When
it became necessary to close the hotel due to Covid, they were the three that helped to keep me
focused. Helping to relaunch a smaller version of the hotel at the Villa. They became the
entertainment and the catalyst to stay moving forward when all seemed to be lost. I remember
on a particularly rough day when I was sitting outside with tears coming down my cheeks and
Sothee walked by. He came up to me and looked at me, and said, “He hurt you, Bong, he hurt
you.” Such simple words yet they made so much difference. These words made me realize how
special these young men were in my life, how much they cared about me and did not want to see
me hurt. Along our paths of life, there aren’t many people we meet who will love us
unconditionally, in one place, I met an entire family.
It’s been seven months since I have been back here in the USA and just as long since I
last saw those three-wunderkind. Not a week goes by that I don’t hear from them or have a face
chat with them. Sothee, Sophe, and Ahm will always be my family, my pride, my joy, and my
private circus.
Hot Pot Magazine 